For Eternity....

This is my one relationship which has always been rocky...I am just soo much in love,that leaving just doesn't seem to possible.On again and off again,i always dread when will i break apart.Even it is always me who pushes in the knife and decides to back out,it is still me am plunging the knife into..

I always had a mild crush since as long as i can remember,but i first fell into love when i was in 10th.And there began this tempestuous relationship.Sneaking and kept hidden,i was constantly happy those days that i finally had a chance to check out my crush and fell headfirst..The relationship soothed me in those days of adolescent worries and fears,tensions and stuff..it was the reason why i soared through my 1st boards,coz i always had company during the late nights and early mornings that kept me awake..

But then happened what i was dreading...My mom got a whiff and then a whole look at my relationship,and then course i was banned, so i had to break up..the 1st of many such breaks..

but then came my inter years,and soon began my cravin..i simply had to go bak..back to my relationship,to having the warm company on a cold,lonely night..so again began the game of hide and seek..and this time,none was wiser..

I then came to college,thrilled to finally have no restrictions and to be finally out in open..pretty soon it became pretty obvious to all my roommates and friends,that i was in a relationship..and ya,they were smart enough to figure out that i was addicted,and was on a decline..

I needed to have the company every time.....every time i was jubilant with joy, every time i was down, every time i was tensed..and soon he was the very breath i needed to be alive..yea,u bet i was on a serious decline there..

So after lot of prodding from my friends,and then just to prove i cannot be addicted,i broke up yet again..this time supposedly forever and for good..I avoided every time we came face to face and declined any opportunity to meet him..

I lived for sometime, and then after some months i was back to normal...i was at a stage where i could cope up  with any emotion without his presence..sometimes i just felt that i was still in love but not as obsessed..i waited till i thought i was free from obsession..

And then i approached again,and then was back again in my relationship..I was madly in love but not addicted or obsessed..i was cautious in the beginning and then progressed to being cautiously optimistic..And i must say that am glad to be finally in a carefree relationship..and am pleased to say that am not showing any signs of being paranoid in the near future..

Hoping to remain like this for the eternity,
I love you
COFFEE....
muahh!!

:)  :)  :)

Dumb and dumber..

Am sitting in the class,
learning all stuff to pass
the drill began,
and so did the drone,
washing over me, one so prone

i saw all the heads nodding,
in peace with the drone,
which to me where,
like scriptures from rome..

i tried to dechipher,
but started to shiver,
with the agony untold
which always got twofold..

so i tried nodding,
at each step prodding
myself to listen and
not to nod off beaming..

i give up,
resigned to the fact
that i just cannot sign this pact
of appeasement,
coz what i felt was amusement..

Amusement coz with all heads nodding,
and with me just ogling..
there must be a screw, a nut
that somehow fell,and had me shut..

coz in the sea of learners,
i was the only one dumber
then the dumbest

i showed the teacher,
that i was a goner,
with just no clue,
that my brain cells were just few..

while the nodding heads,
were really not off any better..
just that they made their beds
so as to hide every letter..

so finally in the dreamy end,
it was I who went round the bend
coz it was I
who though already dumb,
went past dumber..

:)    ;)    :)     :)      ;)

The SILENT night..

As the night falls,
beaming down at me bringing with it,
a shadow of hope,a sliver of doubt
lending me its shroud of darkness,
to be anonymous and to be me..

The night glides by me,with me
no hum and no murmur,
making no ripples in the ocean of emotions..
just there with its strength,
the silent night..

The world of fear,of doubt
with its pace far gone,
A bubble of love,an island of despair
A quiver of faith,the quake of fury..

seeking respite from it all,
though i donned the silent shroud
it still whispered sweet nothings
and poured over me,the honey of encouragement..
prodding me,but never pushing me,
there it remained by me,
the silent night..

The night riped and with it,so did I..
with each passing hour it piped..
some glory,some smile..
some courage to run many more miles,
I was finally anonymous,totally me..

With the hope to love,
courage to let go,
trust to stave off the fear,
the world seemed so dear..

So trudged the silent night,
accomplished in its mission,
and yet reluctant in its completion,
for it shared with me the moments,
moments so poignant,
that even as the midnight sun shines,
the unfurling heart pines,for time spent
and for time lost,yet it rejoices
for the lesson learnt and for the company spent..

Since it has to trudge on,
to fill with sunshine,the life
of yet another silent soul,
it goes by the silent sea,
silent as ever,
the silent night...