For Eternity....

This is my one relationship which has always been rocky...I am just soo much in love,that leaving just doesn't seem to possible.On again and off again,i always dread when will i break apart.Even it is always me who pushes in the knife and decides to back out,it is still me am plunging the knife into..

I always had a mild crush since as long as i can remember,but i first fell into love when i was in 10th.And there began this tempestuous relationship.Sneaking and kept hidden,i was constantly happy those days that i finally had a chance to check out my crush and fell headfirst..The relationship soothed me in those days of adolescent worries and fears,tensions and stuff..it was the reason why i soared through my 1st boards,coz i always had company during the late nights and early mornings that kept me awake..

But then happened what i was dreading...My mom got a whiff and then a whole look at my relationship,and then course i was banned, so i had to break up..the 1st of many such breaks..

but then came my inter years,and soon began my cravin..i simply had to go bak..back to my relationship,to having the warm company on a cold,lonely night..so again began the game of hide and seek..and this time,none was wiser..

I then came to college,thrilled to finally have no restrictions and to be finally out in open..pretty soon it became pretty obvious to all my roommates and friends,that i was in a relationship..and ya,they were smart enough to figure out that i was addicted,and was on a decline..

I needed to have the company every time.....every time i was jubilant with joy, every time i was down, every time i was tensed..and soon he was the very breath i needed to be alive..yea,u bet i was on a serious decline there..

So after lot of prodding from my friends,and then just to prove i cannot be addicted,i broke up yet again..this time supposedly forever and for good..I avoided every time we came face to face and declined any opportunity to meet him..

I lived for sometime, and then after some months i was back to normal...i was at a stage where i could cope up  with any emotion without his presence..sometimes i just felt that i was still in love but not as obsessed..i waited till i thought i was free from obsession..

And then i approached again,and then was back again in my relationship..I was madly in love but not addicted or obsessed..i was cautious in the beginning and then progressed to being cautiously optimistic..And i must say that am glad to be finally in a carefree relationship..and am pleased to say that am not showing any signs of being paranoid in the near future..

Hoping to remain like this for the eternity,
I love you
COFFEE....
muahh!!

:)  :)  :)